Month 9 (33-36 weeks):
I DON’T WANT TO WORK ANYMORE! That’s how month 9 started. I woke up one morning, feeling essentially the same as every other day… I was healthy, active, happy, and all that but MAN was I done with work. I had to stop that instant, I couldn’t stand the idea of going in for even one more day. Luckily, as I’ve mentioned before I have two VERY flexible jobs where as long as my tasks are done I can pretty much make my own schedule so I did just that my friend. That morning I was went on hyper production mode and finished two weeks worth of work in two days so I could start my maternity leave that very weekend. I guess that was my body’s way of telling me I needed to shift gears and start nesting cause this boy is coming soon. I am so glad and grateful I was able to clear my mind a couple of weeks early, it really gave me a chance to savor these last few weeks of pregnancy. I think I’ve mentioned this in another post but I absolutely love being pregnant and though I’m obviously very excited to meet my little one, I know I’m also gonna miss being pregnant so I want to enjoy as much as I can. I was mentioning this to a friend and she said ‘well, you want other kids right? you’ll have the chance to be pregnant again.’ … nah, sis. First off, let’s not forget that pregnancy (though it happens everyday everywhere) is an absolute miracle. A miracle that not everyone gets to live and that is not guaranteed to anyone, even if you’ve had it before. I may have gotten pregnant on my first try but I definitely don’t want to take my miracle for granted. For two, no pregnancy is the same. I may be absolutely loving this pregnancy but by no means do I assume I will live another in the same way. Thirdly… I’m a single mama, I’m really not trying to overwhelm myself by having kids back to back. It’s gonna be awhile before I consider welcoming another gem to this family sooo let me juice this one without an ounce of shame.
Anyway as I was saying my mat leave started as of week 34 and it’s been AMAZING. I was also able to have our baby shower just before Mat leave started which was really great cause though I had SOOO much fun at our baby shower (I won musical chairs twice!) it’s hella exhausting to host a party… yes I hosted my own baby shower.. that’s just how I am. So when mat leave started I had all the time in the world to go through the amazing gifts we got, to start organizing our home, to get whatever last minute stuff I still wanted and REST.. lots and lots of resting. Resting and reflecting.. I’m about to share my life with this baby boy out of womb on a day-to-day basis. I haven’t shared my life so intimately with someone since I was a little girl spending 24/7 with my mama. What’s this new stage gonna be like? Is there anything I’m gonna miss from my solo life? If so how can I thoroughly enjoy them now? My actions and decisions have never had a direct affect on someone’s life like they will in a few weeks… that thought is so exciting and intimidating to me, and Month 9 of pregnancy has mainly been about taking the time to grapple with that idea.